It has been completely ridiculous outside the last couple of days. It’s not just that the rain has been stopping and starting. It’s that it’s a violent downpour for 15 minutes, and then a bright, sunny summer’s day for an hour, and then a violent storm again.

Here, look. Rainy:

And then about an hour and a half later:

And then later still:

What the–?

I like these rainy days a lot, actually (as long as I don’t have to go anywhere). They’re very soothing, and conducive to getting work done. They’re good thinking days.

Lately I’ve been thinking about this blog, and getting self-conscious about it. That’s nothing new, I go through a good self-conscious kick every now and then and come out of it with new ideas. I have been corresponding with a fellow blogger lately and she has been an absolute treasure both in revving me up and being a sounding board as I nail down the finer details of the plan for the coming months.

Getting through the current couple of months has been tough, but I knew it would. I feel like I’m holding my breath, and my face is starting to turn blue. I know that I’ll be able to breathe again soon, as long as I can stay focused, stick to the plan, and get through it. When I got back from California at the beginning of May, I knew that it was going to be a few months of really intense work, sacrificing most fun and frivolity, all based around running the gauntlet that would get me back there. Now it’s just over a month away, I’m heading into the last phase of Project: California Dreamin’, and I’m kind of nervous as shit about it. I want everything to go just right but it never does. It either goes way beyond what you expected or it blows up in some dramatic fashion. The hardest part is not thinking about it, and just letting it be what it’s going to be.

At the end of this week, I will be launching the final and probably hardest part of this months-long plan: the fundraiser. Yesterday my mind drifted off to a friend who departed this world a couple of years ago, and how I have always wanted to do something for a particular charity to honor his memory and his support to me when I was just starting out. I hope that you’ll help me get to California, and support an important and great cause at the same time.

Don’t mind me, I’m just Rambling here.

Tags: photos, pics, pictures, rambling, thoughts